Evil Italians

I want to apologize openly and publicly to all German people, Lufthansa, the memory of my father, and everyone who loves German chocolate cake or strudel. My allegation that Lufthansa had pulled my bag out of the system because they couldn’t process it in 50 minutes was totally frivolous, and without merit. Yes, I know you make trains run on time, and yes, I did see you shoot that one guy and throw him off the plane when he tried to carry on an oversized bag that wouldn’t fit into the overhead and make you late for departure. I should have known you would have never lost my bag. To Lufthansa, I say ‘Ich bin ein Berliner.’ I salute you.

Now, as for the Italians, who couldn’t get my bag on my plane in Milan despite a 3 hour layover: ‘I hate you’. You are not competent. I know you are on strike all of the time. But really, does service suffer when you are on strike? I think not. Can you do anything right that is not gastronomically connected? For god’s sake—3 hours and you can’t get a little bag to a big plane? And it takes you 8 days to find it? Ok, fine, you were on coffee/chain smoking break. But 8 days? Crimeny. You were a proud people once. You were the Roman empire. Michelangelo. Gina Lollobrigida. Hang it up. It’s over. And stay away from my stuff.

Anyway, all is well that ends well. My bag returned on Sunday, just in time to leave Wednesday. Coming back, it did not leave my sight. We are buddies again.