Back Bit

We have four women working in our office—the receptionist, two engineers, and the asst. finance director. They are all amazing, and have incredible stories which I will try to share in the future. They also tend not to say a lot, and two of them don’t speak great English, so you can kind of think they are missing things.

All of the technical team sit together. The other day, everyone was out but Afzal, me, and Basira, a woman engineer sitting back in the corner minding her own business. An admin guy came over from the other office to tell me what a weasel one of his co-workers was. He said some unkind things, and it ended up being unpleasant. I have decided we just have to be honest, so I said we would deal with it at the next team meeting. (Don’t tell ME he’s a weasel, tell HIM he’s a weasel).

So the guy left, as did Afzal, and I went back to work when Basira came up from the back of the room and said ‘I no like Afghans, I like Americans.’

“What do you mean Basira?’

“I no like Afghans—they back bit.”

“Back bit? What do you mean back bit Basira?”

“You know, back bit.”

At which point I got it and I broke out laughing. “Oh, BACK BITE.”

“Ya” say Basira. “Back bite. Afghans back bite, I don’t like it. Americans do not back bite. But Afghans, they always back bite.”

Sadly, there is some truth in what Basira says. Don’t get me wrong—these folks are warm, friendly, funny, and real bright. But there is a real kind of suspicion between people—even people who have worked together for a while and should know and trust each other. We have hired a lot of people, and it has been a real eye-opener. Where is he from and who does he know become a big deal—and even if the guy doesn’t know anyone, that doesn’t mean he is above suspicion. If someone gets promoted, it can get ugly. Titles are everything. It is just hard place to do things. 30 years of conflict and survival-by-connection has really messed things up, and we aren't going to undo it over night. But we're going to work on it each day.