There's a Heat Switch?

I am back from my town stay, and we are spending our last night on base. I hope it is a bit better experience than 2 nights ago. We were in a tent, there was no heat, I was on a cot, and I spent the night trying not to die. Same goes for the other guys I was with. Mac, our tough as nails SAS (British Special Forces) security manager unpacked his bag and put all his clothes on. What a poser. Apparently he spent most of his time in a tropical climate. (He just made fun of my book light ‘not a proper torch’. Well woo woo Mr. Tough Guy).The effect on Aman apparently make him have to pee—he must have left 5 times. And our final companion, who will remain nameless, apparently reacts to the cold by passing gas—loud and long. If he were an Eskimo the ozone would be totally gone due to his emissions. I got to witness all of this huddled under my single sheet wrapped in my bath towel.

Adding insult to injury was the very large guy who went out in the morning to turn the heat on while he was dressing. Said he wanted to take the chill off. Chill my ass, Oscar. Apparently he didn’t notice the -20 temps because he was tucked away in his LL Bean -40 Arctic Buster sleeping bag with inflatable pillow. I almost strangled him on the spot, but when I realized he was about 6’6” and 280, I decided disposing of the body would be too much trouble. Though at least I would have worked up a sweat.

We are sharing the tent tonight with a crew from Sri Lanka, who have already found the heat switch, and as they wish to have it a bit toasty, I imagine I will be spending the night sweating bullets. War is hell.

Luckily, I was able to gulp down 2 full slices of apple pie tonight at dinner, for which I will sincerely thank the Vice-President and his KBR pals when I get back to DC. Hopefully, the sugar-induced coma the pie is about to cause will last through the night.