State of Bush Market: Closed

In a reflection of what is apparently an imminent world wide economic slowdown, Kabul’s ‘Bush Market’ has been shuttered as tenants are unable to pay their rent.

'Bush Market' was made famous as a Kabul market specializing in selling off expired and near-expired food ‘surplussed’ from US military bases around the country. Gallon-sized cans of peas, beans, corn and other toxic chemicals typically found only at Sam's Clubor your local state penitentiary (a small difference) were made available to Kabul residents.

This news was taken especially hard by a Cincinnati resident and sometime Kabul visitor who would only give his initials: AQ. AQ has developed a reputation for buying Folgers coffee about 20 minutes before its expiration date passed. Though many thought the subsequent brew tasted like a mixture of rotten goose eggs combined with the pee of a rat that had been nibbling on asparagus, AQ swore by it. ‘It’s yummy’ AQ said. ‘I can’t believe that the Bush Market closed—it’s so sad. Last fall when I was in Kabul I bought my wife a gallon of Green Giant peas that expired in 2003, and she never noticed. I saved $2.50, though I did have to do some explaining to airport security when I checked my bag.’

Local residents have started a candlelight vigil, as the Bush market was also the place to find the Plymouth Pilgrims basketball t-shirts from 1988 and Carmel High School FFA jackets so critical to Afghan society. No stale coffee, yellow peas, or stained t-shirts. How in the heck are we supposed to rebuild a country under these conditions?