Well, I nearly fell victim to an IED tonight.
Day 3, and I still don’t have hot water. Each day it is something new, and the electrician fixes it, only for me to find out later that it still isn’t working.
Today he replaced the heating element, so I should be good to go. I came back to my room to a loud hissing sound, and saw the temperature gauge on my water heater was red-lined, and it seemed about ready to explode—think pressure cooker when your mom is canning pickled beets. I unplugged it, and Afzal showed his engineering skills by suggesting that I open the sink faucet to relieve the pressure. When I did, steam just came pouring out for the next 15 minutes, making my bathroom into a steam room. I tried to trade rooms with the Rohullah, a Canadian coworker by telling him that I had installed a steam bath that would open his pours and make his skin glow, but he didn't buy it. Seems those Canucks aren't as gullible as I thought.
Really, this house is going to kill me. I need to go to Kandahar where it is safer. But as I think about it, can this be simple incompetence? So exactly where did we find this electrician? Where did he come from? Was it really incompetence when he previously placed a light switch in the shower? Or to have hanging wires from the water heater? Or not to install a thermostat so that the water heater would become an IED? Or maybe, just maybe, is it terrorism based on a mafia movie, where the guy is killed in a very accidental way, so that there are no suspects? Have these ruthless bastards started reading Mario Puzo?
So here I am, alone in a far away land, left to ponder how to defend myself against this attack of either 1) Terrorism, or 2) Incompetence. In the short term, I have decided that prudence dictates that I begin to shower with the security guy that follows me everywhere anyway. It seems only reasonable. And with a little luck, that spot in the middle of my back will receive a much needed scrubbing as well.
By making this public, I am hoping to make it clear that I ain't dying through no ‘accident’. I refuse to be a former Russian spy who 'accidentally' eats a nuclear killer potion over borscht , or some guy who ‘trips’ over a roller skate and ‘accidentally’ dies. Nosiree, I am leaving a warning note, and this is it. The ‘electrician’ is after me. I don’t think he will be successful, but if something happens, give investigators/George Bush this lead. He is kind of a gangly looking 6’5” guy with a beard, turban, and a video crew. They should be able to find him pretty easily.
Day 3, and I still don’t have hot water. Each day it is something new, and the electrician fixes it, only for me to find out later that it still isn’t working.
Today he replaced the heating element, so I should be good to go. I came back to my room to a loud hissing sound, and saw the temperature gauge on my water heater was red-lined, and it seemed about ready to explode—think pressure cooker when your mom is canning pickled beets. I unplugged it, and Afzal showed his engineering skills by suggesting that I open the sink faucet to relieve the pressure. When I did, steam just came pouring out for the next 15 minutes, making my bathroom into a steam room. I tried to trade rooms with the Rohullah, a Canadian coworker by telling him that I had installed a steam bath that would open his pours and make his skin glow, but he didn't buy it. Seems those Canucks aren't as gullible as I thought.
Really, this house is going to kill me. I need to go to Kandahar where it is safer. But as I think about it, can this be simple incompetence? So exactly where did we find this electrician? Where did he come from? Was it really incompetence when he previously placed a light switch in the shower? Or to have hanging wires from the water heater? Or not to install a thermostat so that the water heater would become an IED? Or maybe, just maybe, is it terrorism based on a mafia movie, where the guy is killed in a very accidental way, so that there are no suspects? Have these ruthless bastards started reading Mario Puzo?
So here I am, alone in a far away land, left to ponder how to defend myself against this attack of either 1) Terrorism, or 2) Incompetence. In the short term, I have decided that prudence dictates that I begin to shower with the security guy that follows me everywhere anyway. It seems only reasonable. And with a little luck, that spot in the middle of my back will receive a much needed scrubbing as well.
By making this public, I am hoping to make it clear that I ain't dying through no ‘accident’. I refuse to be a former Russian spy who 'accidentally' eats a nuclear killer potion over borscht , or some guy who ‘trips’ over a roller skate and ‘accidentally’ dies. Nosiree, I am leaving a warning note, and this is it. The ‘electrician’ is after me. I don’t think he will be successful, but if something happens, give investigators/George Bush this lead. He is kind of a gangly looking 6’5” guy with a beard, turban, and a video crew. They should be able to find him pretty easily.
1 comment:
Hilarious....makes me scared to come and live in that house....my sink broke twice in two days!
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